hilarerere is disco!

I just feel like i need some sort of validation. I've just hit one of those bricks in the road, where I feel like I'm just not doing enough, like i'm just sitting here watching life pass me by. I used to feel like this all the time, but it's really rare now. I just always want to be moving, and i just don't have the financial resources to do what I want. I have all the freedom in the world, I mean, Right now, i'm sitting on my bathroom floor typing with my laptop on the toilet seat, just because I think music sounds better in here.


Whenever I feel down in the dumps, or feel like I need to be better, I just try to make drastic physical changes. I shop a lot, change my hair, get tattoos, paint rooms, do my make up, just something I usually wouldn't do, or at least to such an extreme. I feel like I'm spending my life getting all dressed up to stay inside.

I know tomorrow morning when I wake up, I won't feel like this. But for now, I do. =/

Is it part of growing up? beh.

I totally misread my flight time. We came 4 hours early. Disney ery shortly. I'm sooo excited, and scared and nervous.

My wedding is tomorrow and it's raining like crazy up in hurr.

I'm hopeful that God will suspend the rain for a few hours tomorrow during my wedding. Pleeeease.

I'm finally getting a little nervous. But not a lot, seriously, just a little.

game night was fly.
apples to apples.
skipbo
scattegories.

we'll be doing this more often, clearly.

wedding is less than one month away. =D

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiildfiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire.

=D Tj does the best ridiculous arnold shwarzeneggar (?) impression.
We just got back from a whole bunch of bullshit.
We had to take a key to work because our managers are kind of stupid.
then we ran to wal*mart to get groceries and stuff, and honestly, it was so funny.
We saw adam, and he mean-mugged us so bad. Also, he isn't talking to maggie (mutual friend) for not real reason. How stupid, right?

We bought fall-scented glade plug-ins. and my pumpkin scented febreze candles.
I wait all year just to get them. They smell so good.
Fall scented things are probably my most favorite things. -not-

oh glen beck, how i adore you.
I like when he gets all worked up.
I just want to give him treats and pet him like a puppy.


Who would've ever thought i'd become a conservative thinker?
Not me, but I feel like they just get it.
And I guess I've always been more conservative...
not in actions, but in policy.


Anyhow... i'm tired.
and stuff. =P

Ugh. Today has been one of the lamest days off.

First, I wake up super early and take my car to the dealership because my airbag light was acting funky... but of course it stops acting funky when I get there. So they couldn't figure it out. Oh well.  I get free repairs anyhow.

Then, I was like, i'll go get my tan on. So I went tanning. Then I came home and was so bored, like unimaginable amounts of boredom.
Adam woke up, i nagged him about finding a place. He left the house and came back a handful of times today... I was home like, allday because I had nothing else to do, honestly.   So, he comes back the final time, and he's super pissy and stomping around like a little kid. He goes to the room he was staying in, and I hear tons of stomping and throwing and whatever.  So i walked back to his room and asked him if he was moving. He said "Yeah", and went on his way....

I asked him if he needed help, he said no. I asked if everything would fit in his car, he said "it's gonna have to", Then i offered to help him move his things, and he told me I can't know where he's living.

I honestly don't give a fuck where he's living. but half way through him  packing his stuff. i noticed tj's 360 wasn't against the wall anymore, but it was buy adams backpack. so i picked it up and brought out to the livingroom, and watched adam pack the rest of his things.

Seriously, why the fuck would i need 'friends' like that.

Do what you want on your free time, but don't steal from me and follow the rules of my house, because clearly, i'm doing okay if I have a house and I'm under 20.



So, Adam is totally out of Tj and I's life. He was supposed to be in the wedding party, but my cousin Billy is taking his place, because I honestly have NO use for someone like him.
_____________________________________


Anyhow.... other than that, i've just been playing WiiFit and watching ninja vs spartans... and watching tj playing batman arkham asylum.

I work at 7am tomorrow, and it's seriously like... 1230.

So, i'm gonna watch latenight tv. =D and hang out naked...
because i have no roommates anymore. FUCK YEAH.

According to Theknot.com, my wedding is 38 days away. I'm excited.
My bridesmaids dresses are zebra print. with sequins. Haha.
The guys are wearing pinstripe suits, with lavender vests.
I'm so bored because everything is done, pretty much.

I worked a 9.15 hour shift today. Which wasn't too bad. But I'm so tired because I only slept two hours.
I cleaned the hell out of my house last night. I found my smell good carpet stuff.
So I vacuumed at like 3 in the morning.

I am really diggin' fran drescher lately.
The nanny. =D

I want tj to let me get another cat.
it looks just like "king julian" from penguins of madagascar.
except, its a cat.

I am either very arrogant, or I'm just better than most of the people I know.
I am so fed up with the stupid things people complain about.
I hate my job, they only pay me 8.75 and I do this and this and this.

Well, here's my input on it, You agree'd to work for that wage. You agree'd to perform your work duties upon accepting your job. If you're not content, then get a new job. Don't complain about how badly your job treats you, when in all honesty, you're just an idiot. If you didn't like what the job entailed, then why did you accept it. Also,if you're changing jobs every couple of months, I highly doubt its your job that is hindering your ability to be happy at work. It's probably you.

I love my job, sometimes I do get the notion to leave, but I've been there for over two years now. I make less than minimum wage. I am still able to pay all of my bills fine. So, when your paychecks are nearly double mine, and I know that you pay less out in bills a month that I do, I just think you're an idiot.

Also, When I hear people complain about ex-friends... it makes my blood curdle, seriously. I don't care if your old bestfriend is a slut or not. I don't care if you think I'm a slut or not. I have nothing to prove to you and I just don't understand why you would throw someone you once considered a friend under a bus for.

Maybe I'm just different. Way different than I used to be.

But I really do get by just fine here on minimum wage.
and I'm so proud of my accomplishments.

against the vets decision, the police of north ridgeville ohio put an innocent dog back into an abusive home.



Fuck the police.

seriously.

So angry.
i found a dog friday night.
took him to the vet on monday morning when they opened.
got his terrible flea infestation take care of.
had his toe nails removed from the padding in his paws, because they were that over grown.
had all of his shots given to him.
and checked the 'lost dog' things to try to find his owners.

the vet said he had been neglected and abused.
this morning, some guy comes to my house, and takes this dog out of my yard while i'm sleeping.
adam wakes me up, i chase this guy down the street barefoot.
pupski tries to bite this guy.
this guy threatens to hit me.
i call the police.
they let the guy keep the dog.

i'm fighting to get this dog back into my possession.

no animal deserves to be this mistreated.
and then thrown back into that same enviornment.

Pray for Pupski.

i like my palm pre.
i hope hundreds of people make apps for it.
because that would be sweet.
or maybe i could learn to make apps. (lol)

i work at 7pm tomorrow.
what kind of bullshit is that? seriously.


other than that. everything is so fly.

so. now i have a palm pre.
instead of an iphone or a g1.

maybe this will fuck up and i'll get a blackberry curve tomorrow. who knows. -shrug-

I got my iphone today.
I'm getting rid of it tomorrow.
the phone itself is pretty fantastic, grand even.
but the plans they have for it are the stupidest thing ever and i can't phathom paying over 100 dollars a month for 450 minutes and 1500 text msgs.

So, tomorrow i'm returning it.
Getting my money back.
and going to sprint.

Simply because their nights and weekends start at 7.
unlimited txt, data, pictures, random sprint network things they have, gps, blah blah blah...
is only 69. and I'm thinking i'll either get the blackberry curve or the palm centro.
------
on another note...
i bought a new tv today.
so we now have two 42 inch 1080p tvs.
and we have one 720p 37 inch tv.
and a few other tvs that are just hangin' around.

and, seriously, im not rich. i just handle my finances well.
i make 15 cents less than minimum wage an hour.
but i make tips at work.
so go where you want with that.

i have this really gay 2 hour shift tomorrow that i'm going to go to and work graciously.
even though i was supposed to have the day off... whatever.
i'm so going to miss my iphone.

I'm getting a new phone asap.
and i'm really torn. tmobile g1, even though tmobile is a piece. or apple iphone.
i heard i phones don't recieve or send picture msgs.
i heard tmobile has awful 3g service.


so whatever....

what would you get?

Today is an easy day at work.
4 hours of handing our fliers...
So, i'll probably see if adam wants to go with me.
But it really doesn't matter because i'm working with my sister today.
awh. bbysister.

Uhm, i really need a new cellphone but I can't get a decent one until december unless i want to pay over 400 dollars for one. how wak, right?

The weather looks lovely, and we did a bunch of yardwork.

Also, i tried on my dress yesterday, everyone was good in the hood, it just needs let out a little bit. =D

I generally leave my life public...because I don't mind that you creepers see what i'm doing.
I'm not ashamed of anything. I work hard, harder than most people my age.
I have a lot to show for myself, more than most people ten plus years my senior.
and I'm really proud of how far I've come and how I don't associate with a lot of my old friends anymore.

The fact that I didn't tell most of you guys about my wedding plans, or invite you, is because you're not welcome to attend. You won't be accepted with open arms if you show up uninvited, you'll actually be told to leave. Be offended, but here's the thing, Why would I invite you if we don't talk and if you don't care about how Tj or I am doing.

Why would I invite you when your biggest priority is a lot of things I stand against.
That would just be stupid on my behalf... and I'm not stupid. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom.

Here's what I have to show for myself...
a home.
a fiancee.
a family.
good friends, the kind that wonder how i'm doing.
the kind of friends who call to see what's been goin' on.
my pets. mogey,belly,darkie,sora.
the ability to pass a drug test.
a steady income.
an awesome gpa.
25 credit hours in two semesters even though my grandpas house burnt down, and we had to find a new home in the middle of my second semester, even though my heat didn't work at all this past winter and even though i had to work twice as much to pay for a new car.

I'm not ashamed of who I've become.
and I'm not ashamed that I've weeded out fragile poets and 'friends' that only wonder what's going on in my life, because it may benefit them.


Go team Hilary.
way to kick so much ass.

i would be the best wife to switch with on wife swap.
i literally do nothing.
and i have no children.

best life ever.


How much of a bummer is it, that the highlight of my day is playing "my zoo" on facebook and whitening my teeth... Oh, still waitin' on that financial aid.

hah.

I'm watching wifeswap.

and it really just makes me hate hippies.
and people who believe in going green.
and people who think art and love are all you need.

art won't keep you alive.
love won't fill all your voids.
and I really think that a lot of people just can't tell the difference between love and lust.
and that's fine, but don't try to hand me a flower and say that you love me.
because i have no feelings or respect for you.
you throw words around because they don't have real meaning to you.

So shut up, or at least don't talk to me.

and on another note!

bonfire tomorrow in strongsville.
john from work is having a graduation party on saturday.
and sunday in my dress fitting.

I'm going to start cleaning.

I work 6 to 9 tonight.
I worked really late last night, i was kind of bummed about it.
Because I really hate being at work really late.
Oh well, I made fat stacks.

a picture of my cake topper.


I bought all of the cake things today.

i don't work until 5 and i'm bored.